Say WHAT???!!!

This is the first time I've ever blogged for myself.  I started a family blog and abandoned it.  It's a big job to report on the life of 7 other people, so I thought I would focus on the one person I neglect the most - me!  I am in a rut.  I feel like I'm 50.  How bad is it that I wanted to kiss the sales girl at Sephora for asking me how old I am and making me show her ID to prove it.  I swear it was a sales tactic, but she was pretty not-so-bright, so it's probable she was being honest.

I'm starting a serious diet - Medifast.  My biggest fear in life is to end up looking like my mom.  I fear that more than spiders.  For those of you that have met my mom, you know she was pretty a long time ago, but she just gave up.  Hit the wall.  Lost her marbles.  Lost who she was.  The thought of looking like and being like her gives me nightmares.  She's got a heart of gold, but I don't want to be that person who's just pretty on the inside.  Call me vain, but we all know how important looks are.  Besides, who wants to scare the shit out of the world at the thought of seeing you naked?

I've decided to make myself over from the inside-out.  I want to find a church I like.  Hopefully one that won't burst into flames when I walk in the door.  But most of all, I want to be able to let go of some past hurt and resentment.  Nothing makes a fat girl run to cake like disappointment or hurt feelings. 

While I am waiting for my diet food and materials to arrive, I am taking a farewell tour of my favorite foods that will become a no-go for the foreseeable future.  I went to Trader Joe's and got 2 bottles of my favorite wine.  I got a nice, fat hunk of brie.  I got some crackers.  I'm going to enjoy them Christmas Eve.

For those of you that get offended, too bad.  It's my blog.  Don't read it. For those of you that like it - great!  Hopefully it makes someone chuckle.  Comments are welcome - just don't be a wimp if I write back or blog about you!