As Lily Allen puts it: "Eff you! Eff you very, very much!"

You ever have a day where you want to give the world in general the finger?  I'm having one.  I don't know why.  Maybe is has something to do with the fact that I am sick of being the better person at work and at home.  I have a hard time taking crap from people, especially people I can't FRIGGING STAND!!!  I'm really just getting burnt out on turning the other cheek.  Those of you reading this know I'm not the best at just taking the high road.  I am much better at direct confrontation.  AAARGH! 

Somethines, I just want to tell a select few people what I really think of their bullsh!t antics.  And keep telling them until they actually get the message.  What a freeing moment that would be.  The problem is the fallout.  I really don't like to hurt people's feelings, and more importantly, I'm not willing to help fix their drama or hurt feelings.  I am pretty good at not caring what people think of me.  Shocking...hahaha!

Since I started getting healthy in January, I have been trying to do things totally new to me.  I signed up for a weekend of adventure, I have gained TONS of self control with my new eating habits, and I'm working really hard to just let things go that I can't change.  (I wonder if they have an NA for b!tches?  Maybe BA???)

I am happy with wearing a smaller size, but I am truly changing from the inside out.  It is a really painful process to actually have to feel my feelings rather than ignore them.  I guess that true change is painful.  I am sure it's worth it.  I have not cheated on my diet.  In my office, it is a dieter's NIGHTMARE!  Well-meaning residents bring all my fave goodies.  I am just happy the holidays are over.  I am missing my good friends brie and wine.  I don't crave them, I just miss them.  I will find new things to love...  I really appreciate my husband telling me I inspire him on his diet.  He said he's inspired by my self control.  There's no secret to it - I just take one single day at a time.  I tell myself that whatever I am feeling will pass.  I just don't want to trade one addiction (food) for another (shopping).

I'm going to take my own advice now - I'm going to have a Coke and a smile and STFU!  (I will substitute the Coke for a TSFL Shake - LOL!)

I dedicate this to J. Hope this makes you smile!

Some people are just fundamentally evil.  They thrive on making other people suffer.  Sometimes they come in the form of a bully who is loud, obnoxious, and likes to make accusations about others.  This is the easiest type to spot.  The cure for this jerkoff is a direct confrontation.  Once their cover is blown, they will typically pick up their marbles and go terrorize the kids on someone else's playground.

They also have the trained evil b*stard.  They are quiet and conniving.  They have a limited knowledge base, and come across as smart, put together individuals.  Upon closer inspection, you can see what a douchebag pos they really are.  They usually cannot think for themselves, and are led around by a bigger, dumber, and typically younger b*stard counterpart.  That is the type we usually encounter. They also tend to work for government agencies and be psychology majors.  There is currently no cure for this gem of a soul.  They usually will piss you off to the point of no return, yet ask you to be patient. (I bet you know where to spot them now!)  This type of bully refuses to leave.  In fact, they don't want you to leave either.  They morph into a succubus that tells you how you do not appreciate all that they do for you, they are doing it to HELP you.  Not true - Don't drink the kool-aid!

A salute to all of you evil b*stards.  You suck.  May you get yours!

A line in the sand...

Why lie to me and basically slap me in the face?  You have the nerve to be two-faced and pretend you like me in front of people and send my husband comments from you to me on Facebook?  I can take the fact that you don't like me.  I have spent many years bending over backwards and putting my hurt feelings aside in order to try to have some kind of a relationship with you.  It's your turn to do some changing.  Why not at least be honest for once?

Goals

Well, today is the end of day 5.  I have decided I am not having a love affair with the chili, but other than that, everything I have tried so far is great.  I love the convenience of the food, and I'm definitely in love with immediate results!

That being said, I am going to have to wean myself off the scale.  I'm like a drug addict.  Just let me weight myself one more time.  I'll quit weighing myself every day after my first week.  I think my husband is afraid we'll have to replace a window if the scale doesn't tell me I lost weight.

I went to a meeting for my weight loss group.  The focus was goal setting and sticking to your resolution.  Well, I am going to put my goal out there - I'd LOVE to weigh 114.  My immediate goal is to lose 10%.  I refuse to tell you how much that is, so don't even ask.  Whenever I got close to losing 10% in the past, I would give up because I felt like I'd never reach it.  I'm not letting 10% of my fat ass make me lose my resolve.  I am going to pass 10% and spit out the car window at it!  Then my sweet self will go get my hair done as a reward.  Suck on that, 10%!

I'm all about rewards.  I sold the makeup that is synonymous with pink Cadillacs.  I would do almost anything for an ugly bee pin and some pink praise.  Some of you know what this means.  Some of you are puzzled.  Let me explain.  When you get a bunch of women together that have borderline self-esteem issues and start throwing excited praise and goodies their way, they will do anything to get more of it.  I can admit it, I was a high "I"...
 

I hate when that happens!!!

I ran out of Mary Kay Oil Free Eye Makeup Remover yesterday.  No biggie, I thought.  I will pick up some makeup remover from the store.  Eye makeup remover is not created equally.  Let me tell you!  My eyes were en fuego all morning.  I did manage to get the old eye makeup off and clean my face, but HELLO feel the burn!!!  I am not going to stray from it again.  Mary Kay cornered the market on the eye makeup remover.  I promise not to cheat on my makeup remover EVER AGAIN!!!

I tried a new waterproof black eyeliner this morning.  No bueno.  It sucks!  It made my eyes water and itch.   Cheap ain't good and good ain't cheap as my husband always says.  So I will be looking for a new eyeliner pencil in waterproof/smudge proof black.  Darn you smokey eyes!  Well, I don't think I will tempt fate with a new hair color for the moment.  I am going to be content with the weight loss and thankful for having a good job with an AWESOME boss.

Motivation!

Well, I have survived 3 days of dieting.  Truth be told, this is probably the easiest 4 pounds I have lost in my entire life.  I don't feel tired or cranky, and the only side effect I have had is a mild headache.  The headaches have gone away when I eat a dill pickle.

I want to say, if anyone is struggling with weight loss, this is the way to go.  No thinking to it, and very, very friendly for those of us on the go. 

All that said, I had a couple temptations, and I am so proud I avoided them.  On New Year's Eve, we got a last minute invite to our friends' house.  She is an amazing cook.  I have always loved all her goodies!  She had so many yummy things, and I was able to decline them and stick to water.  I was happy I had the strength to resist, and the scale made my second temptation easier to avoid. 

I went to church today.  First time at a new church, and I had the typical welcome to our church card to fill out.  After the service, we were asked to return the completed guest card to the Welcome table for a gift.  The gift was a big, fat Hershey bar!  OMG!!!! Talk about an apple for this Eve!  I smiled, thanked her for the candy bar, and politely declined it.  I didn't take the FREE CHOCOLATE!!!  My wise and witty husband told me after I relayed the story to him that there is no such thing as free chocolate.  How right he is!  Chocolate is my biggest weakness!  I am so glad I like black coffee.  I don't know that coffee and chocolate could be overcome at the same time!

I hope the coming week goes as smoothly as my first 3 days.  I am so blessed by the awesome support of my husband (who starts his diet this week).  Have a great first week of the new year!!!